WINTER DOLDRUMS... Surviving, but barely (Part 31d)

I was right. The room was just too accessible to people and it was like Grand Central station. Even though I’d turned the lights out every time someone would walk in they’d turn them on, look around and then leave. Frustrated, I finally headed for the “dorm”. It was located above the kitchen and had a dozen bunk beds in it and it was for guys who wanted more space in their rooms. The problem was that it was unheated so everyone had multiple layers of blankets. I found an empty one and struggled to get in (with all my clothes on). I didn’t get much sleep but it was certainly better than being interrupted every few minutes.

Saturday morning dawned bright and clear (and cold). I told Elle I’d see her around 9am. That would still give us time for breakfast at the fraternity. As we walked down fraternity row we inspected the snow sculptures. Some houses were still putting finishing touches on their displays and we stopped and watched a few until Elle got cold. As soon as we walked in the house she headed for the ladies room. I’d gotten in line for the food as I was hungry, even if it was only Smitty’s (the cook) greasy scrambled eggs. When Elle caught up with me she had a funny look in her eyes. It was a “good“ funny. After we had our plates filled she pulled me out to the area where we’d been sitting the night before. That puzzled me. I sat down but she stood beside me. I remember looking up at her with a questioning look. She bent down and whispered that she’d ”missed”, but only a little bit. It surprised me because, since our “near miss” and “understanding” she hadn’t volunteered that kind of information to me. Before I could pursue it further another couple joined us.

Intermingled with the small talk with the other couple I was wondering if Elle was softening her stance on celibacy. I just didn’t know how to proceed. After we finished we went outside and continued on down Fraternity row looking at the sculptures. We were almost down to the outdoor ice rinks so we continued on. There were four of them and two were open for students and their dates to use. Elle was a really good ice skater and, seeing all the people circling the rink, she said she wished she’d thought to bring her skates. I know that by just standing there I quickly got cold. I sort of hinted that we should be moving on but Elle wanted to watch for a few more minutes. I finally gave her arm a tug and we started back. We were halfway there when she stopped. Just from looking at her I could tell what was happening. She just stood still, biting her lower lip. I had pretty much figured that she was wearing a “package” since she’d not wanted to go back to the room when she’d “missed” earlier. This confirmed it. It was about 30 seconds or so before she started walking again. She looked up at me and said that she was sorry and we'd have to go back to the room.

Since she’d volunteered the information that she’d “missed” earlier, I felt I was safe in asking about this one. When I did she said it was combination of the cold and time. Even though she was now able to last over two hours under normal circumstances. But, when she was exposed to the cold and did, in fact, get cold it would often trigger a “void”. That was a new term for me and she explained that it was a term that her doctor used to describe when she “flooded” (her term). I asked how often that was and she shrugged and said it was a lot better that it had been before the operation. Before long we were back at the house where I lived. I was just glad to get inside and to get warm. She wasn’t gone for long and we headed back to the fraternity.

On our way back I saw Mr B. dressing the mannequins in his clothing store window. Mrs B had asked me, many times, to stop in to show Elle off when she was visiting. Elle didn’t want to but I prevailed. It was another excuse to be inside and warm. When we were leaving I remember Mr B. telling me just how many days until the racing season began. With snow on the ground it was hard to visualize.

I’d wanted to go to the hockey game but when we headed there after lunch we found that the wind had come up. Based on what had happened that morning and the fact that I didn’t have anything warmer to wear that what I had on we decided to skip it. Elle, always the practical one, had brought one of her text books. We were able to find one of the comfortable chairs and I, initially, offered it to her. She said that I should sit in it and she’d sit on my lap. THAT... was a surprise... and I readily went for it. She ended up with her legs draped over one arm and her head resting on the other and her bottom on my lap. I was tempted to rest my hand on her thigh but resisted.

As tired as I was and with nothing interactive to occupy my mind, I fell asleep. It was something warm in my groin area that woke me up. Elle had also fallen asleep and was still sleeping when I realized what had happened. I shook her awake and she must’ve seen the look on my face because she asked what was wrong. She, honestly, had no idea. When I told her she said she was sorry and put her arms around me and kept repeating that she was sorry. Truthfully, had we not been in such a public place I would’ve loved it.

It was now after 3pm and it’d been just after noon when we’d settled in. Close to three hours had passed and that was definitely beyond Elle's “window” of time. Now the question was what to do. A quick look at Elle’s front showed no evidence of wetness. I knew that I was going to be wet both front and back. I did have a clean pair of pants upstairs so I told Elle I’d go change and then we’d go back to my room downtown to get dry clothes for her. She looked at me like I was crazy. She said that as wet as she was there was no way she was going to walk all that far as cold as it was outside. So, it was up to me to make a run downtown to get dry clothes for her.

Things were relatively quiet in the living area of the fraternity so I got up and made a dash for the stairs. I left Elle in the chair. Once upstairs I grabbed a clean pair of underpants and trousers and headed for the washroom. When I returned to Elle she again told me she was sorry. I hated to leave her there like that but didn't have a choice. Walking briskly, it was at least 15 minutes to my room. The whole way there I kept wishing that Elle’s wetting had happened somewhere I could’ve had some privacy. I felt that it was a missed opportunity.

To be continued...

WINTER DOLDRUMS... Surviving, but barely (Part 31c)

The fraternity had hired a three piece combo for the music. None of the girls changed into the nightshirts until after they started playing. It was slow going at first, getting them to wear them. Some just slipped it on over the clothes they were wearing. Then someone offered up a challenge (and I don’t, for the life of me, remember what it was) and a few more put just the nightshirts on. For the shorter girls they were longer than I had hoped. For the taller girls it was “interesting”. The six footer that I’d seen earlier had put hers on for a few minutes but quickly changed out of it. I still didn’t feel comfortable in “pushing” Elle so just kept quiet about putting it on. The party was boring in that Elle and I weren’t drinking and we weren’t “snuggling” either. Finally, Elle asked if I really wanted her to put the nightshirt on. Of course I said “yes”. It was a perfect fit in that I couldn’t see her panties but it was close enough to get my attention. But she quickly realized that standing was definitely the way to go.

It wasn’t until the alcohol really kicked in that the party started rocking. Elle and I had finally found a couple of chairs in the card room. I offered to get Elle a snack and on the pass through the living room I finally got a couple of really good looks. On one girl I saw about half way up to her waist. At that point I wished I was alone and free to wander about.

My wish was soon to come true. It was about midnight or so that Elle said she was tired (and bored) and ready to go. When she’d decided to put the nightshirt on she’d given me her clothes, all rolled up, to put in the room where I was supposed to sleep. I had a feeling that she was wearing just nylon panties and that she’d done it just for me. I’d behaved myself all night and hadn’t even casually brushed her backside to try and get a peek. But, on my way back down I decided that I’d at least try it once.

It was noisy and crowded throughout the whole first floor. There was a line for the ladies when we walked into the foyer. There were a few people half passed out in the dining room and, as far as I could see, no one in the kitchen. I suggested to Elle that she (and I) go into the kitchen and that she could just slide her slacks up under the hem of the nightshirt. I honestly thought about flipping the back hem up as she stepped into her pants but didn’t. I was rewarded for it. As she pulled her pants up and her hands rode over her hips they caught the nightshirt and pulled it up ahead of the pants. I could clearly see that she was wearing nylon pants. Now I knew what I’d wanted to know and hadn’t had to give up any credibility to get it.

On the walk back to the room, to make conversation, I asked her if Christy knew about her “problem”. Elle told me that she did but said she was wondering how she’d take to the multiple alarms that she used during the night to wake her to use the toilet. At the house our good night was a bit awkward. I didn’t know weather to pursue the “message” that she’d sent by wearing just nylon panties or not. I chickened out and decided to just go with a “real” kiss and not go beyond it. I certainly wasn’t expecting the reaction I got. I’d put my arms around her but not all that tightly. When our lips met she literally put me in a bear hug. It was enough for a bulge to start but with her long wool coat there wasn’t much chance for her to feel it. I don’t know how long it lasted but it was Elle who pulled away and ducked inside the house. I stood out at the sidewalk peering, excitedly, into the upstairs window, hoping for a glance of her but it didn’t happen.

Back at the fraternity, I made another pass though the living room. Not much had changed but I found another source of good “peeks”. There were a number of couples who were dancing to the the combo and there were more who were sitting on the floor just listening to them. Some of the girls had their legs folded in front of them and as I walked by got a few looks at "white triangles".

I hadn’t seen two of my close friends all evening. The two guys roomed in the basement in a room known as The Pit(s). It was never designed to be used for habitation and really wasn’t big enough for two people, even with bunk beds. One of the rules for the school was there were to be no females above the first floor. When I walked in (you never knocked when going in there) I saw this girl sitting on the floor with her head over a waste basket. Right behind her, in his bunk, was my friend David. He was passed out. He was amazing. He could go ninety miles an hour, putting drink after drink down and then, almost like a switch was turned, he’d drop, passed out wherever he was. In this case it was his own bunk. But the girl was almost undressed. The red nightshirt was on the floor next to her. She had nothing on top and was in just her panties. When I walked in she had the dry heaves. The room stunk of vomit. I opened the windows even though it was below freezing out. When I came back to the girl she was mumbling that she had to pee. I knew that was going to be a BIG problem as there was no bathroom in the basement., That, and the fact that she was so drunk she couldn’t even stand. I thought that maybe I could get her up enough for her to squat over the waste basket. As I tried to get her to try and get up I noticed that she was sitting in a puddle. She’d already peed and didn’t even know it. I sat her back down and draped her night shirt over her and left. I figured David could handle the situation better than me. I also decided it was time for some sleep even though I knew I probably wouldn’t get much.

To Be continued...

WINTER DOLDRUMS... Surviving, but barely (Part 31b)

We were on our way back into the sorority house when we ran into two of Elle’s roommates. They told Elle that the menu for dinner that night wasn’t all that appetizing and they were going to eat downtown. They asked if we wanted to join them. The first thing I thought of was money... or my lack of it. I guess I was trying not to upset Elle because I didn’t object. I probably didn’t say much as we walked because I was probably recalculating my available money. We ended up where Elle and I had eaten many times during her freshman year. As usual, there was a line waiting to get seats. Elle excused herself and I knew where she was headed. When she returned I noted a bit of concern on her face. I kind of guessed why. If we’d been alone I might have asked her about it but decided that, in front of her roommates, I wouldn’t.

Luckily, Elle chose something reasonable. I didn’t eat anything, using the excuse that I’d just eaten a short time ago. When we were done Elle’s roommates decided to go to the movies. I asked her where she wanted to go and that’s when she said we’d better go back to the sorority. If this had been before Christmas I would’ve been all over her... patting her bottom... feeling for wetness, but it wasn’t. I did manage to elicit something along the line of “It’s time.” which confirmed what I’d been thinking.

After she changed her “package” we ended up back at the SU lounge. It was very platonic and the talk between us was more about school than us. I’d told my classmate Donny (who lived in the same town) that I was going to stay at his house. I decided to take Elle back to the sorority a bit early because I had a long walk to get there. We kissed and hugged but it wasn’t with the same fervor as during our Christmas break. I wasn’t upset though, because I felt we were still “good” based upon our earlier talk.

By morning the weather had changed and it looked and felt like snow. I saw Elle early and then took off for the bus station. Nothing much had changed from where it was the night before. As I understood it in my mind, we were still “solid” and still engaged. (although we still hadn’t told our parents) It wasn’t the way I wanted it but it was acceptable. I’d just have to “wait it out”.

Money and weather on top of the tentative nature of our relationship added up to me only getting over to see Elle three times over the next month and a half. I’d decided not to invite Elle to Winter Party because, as a non drinker and non smoker, she hadn’t really enjoyed the Fall party at the fraternity. So it was quite a surprise for me to have her ask if she could come. What had led to it was that one of her sorority sisters had been invited and she was going provided she could room with someone she knew. She knew I went to the same school and asked Elle if she was going. If I said OK she told me she had a ride both ways. It meant a little more stress on my budget but I really did want to see her.

At each party (Fall, Winter and Spring) each of the fraternities would pick their own individual party themes. For Winter party my fraternity chose to have a “slumber party” with red flannel nightshirts as party favors for all the girls. I’d already envisioned a great night of panty peeking as it looked like the shirts would barely cover the girls bottoms (we’d seen samples). With Elle being there it meant I’d have to be a little more careful.

The school had been through the fraternity “rush” and we had a whole new batch of pledges that would do most of the “grunt“ work and would allow me to have more freedom. Bob, my roommate, was going home that weekend for some sort of family affair which worked out well for me as far as Elle was concerned Elle. It meant Elle and her sorority sister could room together in our room. I was actually beginning to look forward to the party.

Elle was to arrive about mid afternoon at the fraternity house. While I was waiting there was a lot of excitement as other girls were arriving all the time. To kill time I decided to go into the coat closet, feigning making telephone calls but it was really to try and get a peek of girls using the bathroom. I do remember this one girl who had to be almost six feet tall. With some shorter girls the peep hole didn’t really allow you to see all that much. But, with this girl it was perfect. It was almost like she was ”playing” to me. Most girls would do their thing, wipe and stand up and only giving a sideways view of their panties. But this girl turned her back to the peep hole after she pulled her panties up which really got my attention. The crotch was fairly large and it was another case of really wanting to know what kind they were.

I noted that there were a few good looking girls among the early arrivals... girls that I hoped to get a good look at their panties during the “slumber” party later that evening. When Elle finally arrived I had to take her and her sorority sister to my room. I think the girl’s name was Christy. The college they were attending was a Teachers College and this girl already fit the term “school marm”. Her hair was in a pony tail and she wore horn rimmed glasses. Her other physical features were nothing out of the ordinary. As we walked into the house I wondered if she knew about Elle’s “problem” but didn’t dwell on it. I watched them walk up the stairs and remember admiring Christy’s VPL.

Elle and I just hung out at the fraternity until dinner. It was there that the announcement was made about the theme of the party and the “favors” were handed out to the girls. The responses range from laughter to outrage. Elle just gave me one of “those” looks. I waited a while to ask if she’d wear it. She told me that if the majority of the other girls did that she would. It was at this point that I really started wondering just what she was wearing under her slacks. If it had been before our “lucky escape” I would’ve bet that she was wearing just nylon panties. Right then and there I was sure she had on a “package” and because of it wouldn’t take a chance on wearing something so short. That kind of bummed me out.

To be continued...

WINTER DOLDRUMS... Surviving, but barely (Part 31a)

Mother nature gave me a break the following weekend. However, finding a ride to Elle’s college proved elusive so I had to “bus it”. That in itself was a budget buster for me. I was already almost broke and it was only the first of February. I was really excited to see Elle and her reaction to seeing me walk in the door of the sorority told me she felt the same. But, as strange as it may seem, there was some hesitancy on both our parts. We decided to head for the Student Union feeling we might have more privacy. With the weather rather pleasant I’m guessing that a lot of the students were taking advantage of it as the lounge was almost deserted. We headed for a corner, by ourselves, but didn’t go into a passionate embrace once we settled in. There was actually room for another person between us. In a way it was sort of a sparring contest. We each knew we had something important to discuss but neither of us wanted to start. I don’t know how long it took but when we finally started it was obvious that we each had radically different ideas.

Without a doubt we both realized we had gotten very lucky. We also knew that there was no doubt about our love for each other. We just had to figure how to go forward. Common sense told us that we had to be careful. But, therein was the crux of the real problem. In my mind the answer was “rubbers” or condoms as is the present day term. For Elle, the answer was abstinence. There really is a wide chasm between the two and I wasn’t prepared for Elle’s solution. I don’t remember my immediate reaction but I do remember arguing that that was just too drastic. As I write this, I’m sort of confused as to what I said and what I was thinking at the time. I do know that somewhere in the whole mix I couldn’t reconcile the fact that it was Elle who had resisted me when I wanted to pull out. That told me that she she enjoyed the “moment” and I couldn’t understand how she could want to abandon that feeling. Of course, no one has ever figured out how a female mind works. I remember trying to “reason” with her. I also remember that I did it in a very calm manner, which for me when on a topic that was important, was very difficult.

To give you a clue as to just how “deep” our discussion got, it took one of Elle’s sorority sisters walking up to us to break our concentration. When the girl was walking away Elle looked at me with a sheepish look on her face. I remember her pointing to her crotch. I just figured she had to go to the bathroom. That wasn’t it. She’d already gone... and hadn’t even noticed. As much as that usually excited me, this time it didn’t. First of all I was upset that we hadn’t come up with an agreed solution on how to be “careful”. Secondly, I was concerned about how to get Elle out of there without really embarrassing herself.

Fully expecting to have ready access to a ladies room while at the SU, Elle wasn’t wearing a “package”. Because she pretty much knew there wasn’t going to be much intimacy (and that it was very cold out) she wore a pair of wool slacks. On top of that she had worn a car coat which barely reached her “bottom”. With our “discussion” now very much in the background the focus was now on “damage control“. When Elle felt there was no one looking she lifted herself up off the sofa. I think it was gray upholstery but I do remember a big, dark spot where she’d been sitting. Her backside almost matched the color. Fortunately, there wasn’t much showing on her front. I quickly flipped the cushion over and stepped in right behind her. It probably looked funny to anyone who knew us, to see me walking so close behind her instead of along side. But I knew it was the only way to hide the ”damage“.

Elle complained bitterly about how cold her bottom was as we made our way back to the sorority. I couldn’t go any farther that the foyer once we were back in the house. The first time I felt any ”excitement” was when I watched her run up the stairs. I sat on the bench just inside the vestibule as I waited for her to return. One of the girls who came in was one of the few really pretty girls in the house. I watched her take off her coat and could see her panty lines as she bent over to undo her boots. I remember thinking of how much I’d like to know just what kind of panties she was wearing.

When Elle came down the stairs she was carrying a white sack. She handed it to me and said she’d be right back. I noticed that she had something balled up in her hand and knew it just had to be the panties she’d been wearing. I knew she was headed for the basement to hang them up and I wanted to go with her but stayed put. Upon her return we headed downtown. Being that this was the 50’s there weren’t a lot of dry cleaning establishments around and you had to go to a laundry for that service. The only laundry in the town was on the outskirts and it was a fair walk to get there. As usual, I hadn’t had much to eat and by the time we headed back I was absolutely famished. I did a mental calculation as to just how much money I had to spare. For sure, I had to save enough for the bus trip back to school. I don’t remember just how much it was but decided that I had to eat something. There was a tavern that a lot of the local students liked to patronize that we had to pass on our way back. They had a reputation for having good hamburgers so we stopped. For Elle, the problem was cigarette smoke but she agreed to come in with me anyway.

By the time we got served and were on our way back to the sorority, almost two hours had passed since we’d left on our journey. I was sure Elle had on a “package”. She would usually use a ladies room any time she could, even when wearing one, and she didn’t. I was going to question her as to why she hadn’t but decided to stay quiet. I was curious as to her “status” but figured I’d wait.

To be continued...

WINTER... The bleakest time of year (Part 30d)

We agreed that we both needed to finish our exams. I’d come back on Friday and we’d do some planning at that time. In the meantime we’d focus on doing the best we could on the exams that we had left. I hadn’t brought anything to study so just sat with her in the Student Union while she did. I ended up sleeping in there as I’d done a few times the year before. It was comfortable and wasn’t restful. I spent most of the night trying to figure out how to proceed. We needed to tell our parents and I needed to get a job and both were daunting tasks. I took the first bus out the next morning. Elle had gotten up early and met me to walk with me to the bus. Other than a few hugs and a few pecks on each others cheeks that hadn’t been much in the way of intimacy, especially considering the commitment we’d made to each other. But, I wasn’t worried about that at the moment.

Even though my worries were great, at least one of them wasn’t Elle herself. I made an honest effort to concentrate on studying for the exams I still had to take. Originally, I’d been upset that I had one exam scheduled for the last day because it was robbing me of a few extra days of intersession. But, in the long run, it worked out for me. I spent most of the time cramming and when the exam was over I felt I’d done OK.

It had started snowing the night before and by the time the exam was over there was at least 6 inches of new snow on the ground. Not only that, but now the wind was blowing and you couldn't see but a few feet in front or yourself. I’d arranged to get a ride the first thing in the morning that would drop me off in the town where Elle’s school was located. I spent that night drinking with a few of my fraternity brothers who weren’t leaving campus during the break from school. Even though I was pretty drunk when we left Mo’s Tavern I do remember how hard it was to walk through the snow on the sidewalks. As I remember it, it was almost mid calf. By the time I reached my room I was exhausted. My roommate, Bob, had left two days prior so I was alone in the room. I took off my coat and shoes and “crashed” on the bed, clothes and all.

The next thing I knew there was a knock on my door. It was Mrs K. and she wanted me to shovel the snow off the porch roof outside my window. She handed me a shovel and left. I was supposed to have met my ride at 7am and when I looked at my watch it was after 10am. I wanted to kick myself. I’d told Elle that I’d probably be at her place by 9:30am and here I was hung over and still in my room. At that point I didn’t have much of a choice but to climb out the window and to push snow. It was still snowing and, after I’d pushed a path to the edge I looked out into the street and could barely make out the K’s car. It looked like an oversized loaf of bread for all the snow on the roof. The snow on the porch roof was up to my knees. This was a major storm! And, it ended up being the excuse I need for Elle.

My ride hadn’t even attempted to leave. Since I wasn’t allowed to take calls at my room he’d left a message at the fraternity. I trudged my way there by 1pm. The kitchen had officially closed after Wednesday nights meal so there wasn’t anything to eat but bread, jelly and peanut butter. There were about a dozen “brothers“ still there and they were all chowing down when I arrived. I grabbed a few pieces and then called Elle. She’d not had as much snow but it had pretty much closed down her area as well. I was both relieved and disappointed. The snow had saved me as far as missing my ride but I desperately wanted to see Elle. I told her I was going to hang out at the fraternity and would call when I got some news as far as the ride was concerned.

I spent the afternoon sleeping on the sofa. Some of the guys were headed for Mo’s and asked if I wanted to join them. I was still somewhat hungover from the previous night so said I’d pass. I fell back to sleep and it was the phone ringing that woke me up. I answered it and it was Elle. ”IT CAME! IT CAME!“ was what I heard. It took a few seconds for me to figure out what she was telling me. But, when I realized what it was I can honestly say I was disappointed more than relieved.

With classes starting Monday morning and a school rule that, unless you had a legitimate excuse, you had to go during the first week, I was ”trapped“. I’d thought about taking the bus to see Elle on Sunday and then pleading that I’d gotten stuck there but, realistically, knew it wouldn’t hold up. When I called Elle to tell her there was no way I could come over to see her I could hear the disappointment in her voice. I promised, come hell or high water (or snow) I’d be there the next weekend. It was the best I could do.

What the situation did was to allow me to focus on Elle’s and my total relationship. I knew that I loved her before but all of this reaffirmed it. And, more importantly, it had confirmed it to Elle. As I looked to the future I knew we had to do some serious planning. It was no longer a ”game“.

To be continued...