MORE SUMMER... and my new life (Part 34f)

And wait I did. Long story short... I never saw Alida again. I went to her room before I went up to the races that night and there was still no Alida. It was the same after the races. The next morning the stable superintendent stopped by to inspect the area she and her horses had occupied. When he saw her things in the tack room he asked one of our grooms if they belonged to him. He said “no” and referred him to me. I told him what I knew and he then asked if I’d make sure they got moved out as there were horses due in that afternoon and that room would be needed. I was really behind in my work so I didn't go there until I saw a horse van pull up to that end of the barn. As I started to roll up her mattress I found a note addressed to me under her pillow. As much as I wanted to read it right away, I knew I had to get her things moved. I just folded it up and put it in my back pocket. I finished rolling up the mattress and then folded up the cot and the chair. I carried them down to our end of the barn and stored them in the rafters. I wasn’t sure what to do with her foot locker though. The lock for it was still hanging there. I decided to make it look like it was locked and carried it down to our end of the barn and hid it under a couple of bales of straw with the idea of waiting to see if I got any news about Alida. She’d also left a few bales of hay and straw as well as a partially filled grain barrel. I lugged them all to our area and told the others not to use it until told to do so.

By then it was time to change clothes and go up to the track. I’d actually forgotten the note from Alida in my pocket and didn’t think of it until much later in the evening. I pretty much knew what was in it. Back at barn, after the races, I found my work pants and dug the paper out of my pocket. I think I stood and looked at it for about a minute before I opened it up. There were two pages, hand written, on lined yellow pad paper. I remember the beginning just like I was reading it right now... “Sonny Boy; Thank you for allowing me into your life.” I honestly didn’t know what she meant by that. In essence, what the note contained was the fact that she’d come to realize that the only reason she was doing this (training and racing the horses) was to retain something in her life that her husband dearly loved. She wasn’t doing because she loved it herself. She said that when I’d told her to “be herself” it finally struck home. When she ditched the manly clothes and persona she felt much better... and that led her to, realistically, question her motives for staying with the horses. She said that the better of the two horses had been bred by her husband and he died before it ever got to the races. She’d vowed to make sure that the horse raced, in honor of her husband. After reading that I questioned how she could’ve sold it. But she went on to say that, once the bills that she owed were paid, she felt it was time to walk away. With “Wingo” winning those races the value of both horses went way up and when he approached her about selling the better horse she said she would. Once that deal was done there was no reason to keep the other one so she sold it as well.

She went on to say that she couldn’t stand “Good bye’s” and felt that it was best if she just left a note. She told me to do whatever I wanted with her cot, chair and lamp and to just throw the “junk” in her footlocker away and, if I didn’t want it, to give the locker to one of AJ’s grooms. I think the only way to describe how I felt after reading that was “empty”.

I know I didn’t get to sleep for a long time that night. I pretty much went over that whole period of time from my first encounter with her right up to the last time we’d talked. None of the feelings were sexual in spite of the fact that she’d paraded around in front of me in just her underwear. I had truly grown to like her as a person and knew that I’d miss her.

It took a few days before I went though her footlocker. There really wasn’t much in there other than few of the plaid shirts with the sleeves cut or torn off that she liked to wear when she first arrived. There was also stained shirt/jacket, a few dirty baseball caps and a woolen sweater with holes it it. When I pulled them out I found a couple of bras and panties. I remember smiling when I saw them because they were a light shade of gray. I guess “dingy” would be the word to describe them. Of course I had to inspect the panties but they were just like the ones I’d washed for her on those Sundays... just old and worn out. As much as I loved panties and missed Alida, I didn’t keep them.

Knowing that the track owed her money from the last races that her horses had competed in I went up to the office to see what her forwarding address was. They said all she gave them was “General Delivery: Livonia, Michigan”. I actually did write a post card to her but never heard back. If there was one valuable lesson I learned from meeting Alida was to not judge people so quickly. Through the years, when I found myself making a judgment based on a cursory meeting I'd think of Alida and would "back off" until I got to know them better.

To be continued...