Time out... again, Update #2

Time out... again, Update #2

What a month! It seemed like the bad news would never stop. I decided to wait until April to post again hoping that it would make a difference... so here goes.

Our daughter's funeral was on Saturday, March 18th. The interment was to be in the memorial garden behind the church following the service. However, mother nature decided to throw us a curve with over a foot of snow a few days prior. With a lot of effort and dedication we managed to pull it off. There was a reception back at the house following for family and close friends. While there I got a phone call telling me that one of my closest friends back here had died during the night. Another shock! He had some physical problems but no real medical ones. On top of that, his wife, in a panic, tripped and fell breaking her femur (hard to believe but she did). Upon our arrival home that Sunday we stopped at the hospital to see her and offered to help look after her cat and plants. She was still so 'rattled' that no plans for her husband had yet been made.

Moving on... Elle and I were invited to join some other friends for dinner one night during that week. We felt it was a good idea to get away from the reminders of our daughter for a night. Back at home just before bed I had a major attack of stomach cramps. It ended with a substantial amount of blood in the toilet. I'd had this a time or two before caused by food poisoning so just sloughed it off and went to bed. The next morning I felt like I had to go again but all that was there was more blood. Now it was a trip to the emergency room.

It was determined that I was in no danger so I was released with instructions to see my regular doctor who immediately scheduled me for an endoscopy and colonoscopy... not my favorite things to do even under the best of circumstances. It took a few day to get it scheduled and me prepped for it. While waiting, another phone call with more bad news... the daughter of a former neighbor had died. What was disturbing about this news was that she was the same age as our daughter, 57 years old. Unlike our daughter, this woman had no health problems at all. She was a caregiver for her mother and, supposedly, did all the right things as far as eating and exercise. With three deaths within three weeks it was getting hard to have a positive outlook.

There was one piece of good news... there was no sign of any major digestive problems and other than to have to suffer with a soft diet for a week was told to go back to "normal" living, whatever that is.

On top of all the above, Elle was to have had a major shoulder operation (shoulder replacement) the week after our daughter died. Needless to say it was postponed. She's had three major surgeries over the past few years and found it harder and harder to recover from the anesthesia each time. Because of that she'd been putting this one off for almost a year. Cortisone shots no longer helped and she finally reached a point where Advil and Aleve no longer worked. She refused to take opioids after seeing some lady friends become addicted which left her no choice. She handled the first postponement fairly well and had the next one scheduled for last Thursday. However, she got a phone call at 4pm the day before telling her that her pre-op check up with her regular doctor showed she had a bladder infection (heard that before??) which meant it had to be postponed again. Through all of this I've had to try and boost her confidence and to work on convincing her that having the operation is not an option (She can't lift her arm even up to her waist... gets little sleep at night... and has become difficult to live with. I've had to help her dress and undress for  almost nine months). Right now, barring any further interruptions, it is on the calendar for April 11.

When not otherwise occupied by all of the above I've been trying to help my son-in-law out with all the paperwork (and $$) that goes with a death. It's been almost impossible to not be reminded that I'll never see my daughter again. Friends have told me not to "push it" and that, over time, I'll fall back into a more normal routine. So, having said that I'm not sure when (or if) I'll go back to posting at Fancy Panties. I made one abortive attempt but quickly gave up on it. I'm hoping that if I try again I'll be motivated to continue. I've really enjoyed reliving my past. I also found that writing was a passive type of enjoyment for me allowing me to destress a bit.

To OB, BS and Curly... Thank you for your continued kind words of encouragement.

The Pantymaven