MAKING PROGRESS… of sorts (Part 172y)
By the time Elle and the
kids got back home I’d mowed both the church and house lawns and put a
primer coat of paint on the sign… and, with the added work I’d done at
the sailing club, by then I was tired and hungry. Two hot dogs and a coke was
all that I’d consumed for the day. I was also ready to call a ’truce’
with Elle. I pretty much knew why Elle was so upset… lack of
communication on my part. However, with the 'silent treatment' now in the third day the only
way the situation was going to change was… to communicate. I’d avoided
confrontation but that wasn’t working so decided to ‘attack’ and to
bring the stand-off to an end. I planted myself on the patio by the
doorway to the kitchen. The kids came up the path first and I sent them
inside with orders to go upstairs and get washed up for supper. Elle soon followed
and as she approached I saw she was avoiding looking at me. I walked in
front of her preventing her from entering which forced her to look at
me. When she did I told her this had to stop and I wanted her to tell
me, in words, what it was that I’d done that was so wrong. There was no
hesitation in her answer… “You’re not being a good father and husband!”
I’ll
spare you the rhetoric and just say that took about 20 minutes before we
mutually agreed to sit down and talk the whole thing out after we’d
eaten supper. There was still some tension while eating but there was
some civil conversation, mostly with the kids. I was able to mention
that I’d met Martha’s husband. It was obvious Elle hadn’t as she asked
about him. I casually mentioned that Martha had gone up to the school to
hit tennis balls off the backboard and asked if she had played any more with
her. She sort of made a face and said she hadn’t. When I asked
why she shrugged her shoulders and said she just didn’t feel like it.
That surprised me because normally she’d drop everything to go hit some
balls. I didn’t dwell on it choosing to keep the conversation
‘light’. To keep things on the ‘light’ side I offered to and did help
cleaning off the table and doing the dishes (no dishwasher). It was
still warm, not the true Summertime warm, but light jacket/sweater warm
so we sent the kids out to the playhouse. That gave us privacy and we ended
up on the screened in porch for the first time. It was a bit awkward but
since I’d taken the initiative I asked for Elle's definition of “A good
father and husband…”.
She didn’t have one but I knew her well enough to know that
someone had planted a ’seed’ in her mind. I was right and she told me
she’d met some people new to the community at the last PTA meeting
that she liked. One of the women, in describing her husband, said she
had the perfect mate and proceeded to describe him. The big ‘take away’
for me was that he would eat breakfast with his kids and was,
supposedly, home to eat dinner with them at night. I sat and listened
without questioning anything. There was a period of silence that
followed and I wasn’t going to take the ‘bait’ and get into an unwinable
discussion so waited for Elle. She gave in and asked my opinion of the
“good father” she’d just described. I just sat there with a little smirk
before finally asking just what it was that that this ‘perfect mate” did
for a living. She then told me he ran a used book store that he’d just
started. That made me smile which, in turn, visibly bothered Elle. I
waited for a bit and then told her that as his own boss, with no
employees, he could pick and choose what he did at just about any time
at all. He could pick and choose his obligations as he saw fit to do.
That was the opening that I needed and proceeded to go on a bit of a
rant about the ramifications of my working at the bank. I told her I didn’t
have just one “boss” but had multiple ones… all the Trustees as well as
the President and senior Vice President. As a junior officer I was
expected to do as requested and pointed at the sign leaning against the
side of the garage. I was on a roll by then and told her I no more
wanted to do that sign than run naked down the street… but it was for a
Trustee. Continuing on, I listed the five committees I’d been placed on
by the bank that required me to attend meetings that would keep me from
being home to eat dinner with her and the kids. I didn’t stop there
saying there was also my being on the Vestry at the church and
participation at the sailing club that were on a personal, family level.
I finished by mentioning my involvement with the race car saying that
was the one and only thing that I did that was for my own personal
pleasure… although I quickly questioned myself why I'd done that knowing Elle's dislike of racing.
Elle knew me well
enough not to interrupt once I got started but I could see she was
‘itching’ to say something. Not wanting to lose my train of thought I
kept on going and I guess you could say I ‘attacked’ her when I made the
statement that once she was done with her daily chores she was free to
do whatever it was that she wanted to do and I didn’t have that type of liberty. I
had to do my household “chores” like lawn, house maintenance, pay bills
and spend time with the family while trying to squeeze in some time for
myself. I stopped with that point made and took a deep breath. We sat
there looking at each other without saying anything for a minute or two.
Then, I saw a ‘form’ at the screen door, It was Martha from next door.
Elle invited her in but all she wanted to do was apologize for the fact
that her daughter had come through the opening in the hedge and invited
herself to play with our kids out at the playhouse. Elle insisted
that she come on in and when she did I had to do a bit of a ‘double
take’ when I saw what she had on. It was some sort of cover-up like you
might wear over a bathing suit and I had to catch myself from staring
right at the rear hem of it as she addressed Elle. By then the sun had
set and the evening shadows were prevalent so colors were muted but I
was absolutely positive that I was looking at panties covering the lower
part of her butt cheeks. With her looking at Elle she couldn’t really see that
much of me and I remember hoping that she'd make some sort of gesture with
her arms to raise the hem just a little bit. I was so ‘taken’ with
what I was looking at that I hadn’t paid any attention to the
conversation until I heard Martha apologize for the way she was dressed
and that she’d just exited the shower and discovered her daughter was
“missing”. That, at least, explained the manner of dress. When she
turned to leave I was disappointed that the front of the cover-up was
halfway down her thighs.
Martha’s appearance couldn’t have been
timed better. She was there long enough to let whatever ’shock’ effect
what I’d said to Elle simmer down. As Martha walked away Elle turned to
me and, shaking her head up and down, agreed that we both needed to
communicate better with each other… but with one caveat… that as hard as
it may be for me I had to let her know when my plans changed. If I tell her in the morning that I’d be home by 6pm and I’m not going not
going to make it… find some way to let her know at least a half hour
before that. There was some ‘give and take’ dialog that followed that
but she definitely made her point. We hugged and then went out to bring
the kids in for the night. One thing I was definitely looking forward to
was sleeping in my bed that night.
To be continued…
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