Monday, March 25, 2019

MAKING PROGRESS... of sorts (Part 172y)

MAKING PROGRESS… of sorts (Part 172y)

By the time Elle and the kids got back home I’d mowed both the church and house lawns and put a primer coat of paint on the sign… and, with the added work I’d done at the sailing club, by then I was tired and hungry. Two hot dogs and a coke was all that I’d consumed for the day. I was also ready to call a ’truce’ with Elle. I pretty much knew why Elle was so upset… lack of communication on my part. However, with the 'silent treatment'  now in the third day the only way the situation was going to change was… to communicate. I’d avoided confrontation but that wasn’t working so decided to ‘attack’ and to bring the stand-off to an end. I planted myself on the patio by the doorway to the kitchen. The kids came up the path first and I sent them inside with orders to go upstairs and get washed up for supper. Elle soon followed and as she approached I saw she was avoiding looking at me. I walked in front of her preventing her from entering which forced her to look at me. When she did I told her this had to stop and I wanted her to tell me, in words, what it was that I’d done that was so wrong. There was no hesitation in her answer… “You’re not being a good father and husband!”

I’ll spare you the rhetoric and just say that took about 20 minutes before we mutually agreed to sit down and talk the whole thing out after we’d eaten supper. There was still some tension while eating but there was some civil conversation, mostly with the kids. I was able to mention that I’d met Martha’s husband. It was obvious Elle hadn’t as she asked about him. I casually mentioned that Martha had gone up to the school to hit tennis balls off the backboard and asked if she had played any more with her. She sort of made a face and said she hadn’t. When I asked why she shrugged her shoulders and said she just didn’t feel like it. That surprised me because normally she’d drop everything to go hit some balls. I didn’t dwell on it choosing to keep the conversation ‘light’. To keep things on the ‘light’ side I offered to and did help cleaning off the table and doing the dishes (no dishwasher). It was still warm, not the true Summertime warm, but light jacket/sweater warm so we sent the kids out to the playhouse. That gave us privacy and we ended up on the screened in porch for the first time. It was a bit awkward but since I’d taken the initiative I asked for Elle's definition of “A good father and husband…”.

She didn’t have one but I knew her well enough to know that someone had planted a ’seed’ in her mind. I was right and she told me she’d met some people new to the community at the last PTA meeting that she liked. One of the women, in describing her husband, said she had the perfect mate and proceeded to describe him. The big ‘take away’ for me was that he would eat breakfast with his kids and was, supposedly, home to eat dinner with them at night. I sat and listened without questioning anything. There was a period of silence that followed and I wasn’t going to take the ‘bait’ and get into an unwinable discussion so waited for Elle. She gave in and asked my opinion of the “good father” she’d just described. I just sat there with a little smirk before finally asking just what it was that that this ‘perfect mate” did for a living. She then told me he ran a used book store that he’d just started. That made me smile which, in turn, visibly bothered Elle. I waited for a bit and then told her that as his own boss, with no employees, he could pick and choose what he did at just about any time at all. He could pick and choose his obligations as he saw fit to do. That was the opening that I needed and proceeded to go on a bit of a rant about the ramifications of my working at the bank. I told her I didn’t have just one “boss” but had multiple ones… all the Trustees as well as the President and senior Vice President. As a junior officer I was expected to do as requested and pointed at the sign leaning against the side of the garage. I was on a roll by then and told her I no more wanted to do that sign than run naked down the street… but it was for a Trustee. Continuing on, I listed the five committees I’d been placed on by the bank that required me to attend meetings that would keep me from being home to eat dinner with her and the kids. I didn’t stop there saying there was also my being on the Vestry at the church and participation at the sailing club that were on a personal, family level. I finished by mentioning my involvement with the race car saying that was the one and only thing that I did that was for my own personal pleasure… although I quickly questioned myself why I'd done that knowing Elle's dislike of racing.

Elle knew me well enough not to interrupt once I got started but I could see she was ‘itching’ to say something. Not wanting to lose my train of thought I kept on going and I guess you could say I ‘attacked’ her when I made the statement that once she was done with her daily chores she was free to do whatever it was that she wanted to do and I didn’t have that type of liberty. I had to do my household “chores” like lawn, house maintenance, pay bills and spend time with the family while trying to squeeze in some time for myself. I stopped with that point made and took a deep breath. We sat there looking at each other without saying anything for a minute or two. Then, I saw a ‘form’ at the screen door, It was Martha from next door. Elle invited her in but all she wanted to do was apologize for the fact that her daughter had come through the opening in the hedge and invited herself to play with our kids out at the playhouse. Elle insisted that she come on in and when she did I had to do a bit of a ‘double take’ when I saw what she had on. It was some sort of cover-up like you might wear over a bathing suit and I had to catch myself from staring right at the rear hem of it as she addressed Elle. By then the sun had set and the evening shadows were prevalent so colors were muted but I was absolutely positive that I was looking at panties covering the lower part of her butt cheeks. With her looking at Elle she couldn’t really see that much of me and I remember hoping that she'd make some sort of gesture with her arms to raise the hem just a little bit. I was so ‘taken’ with what I was looking at that I hadn’t paid any attention to the conversation until I heard Martha apologize for the way she was dressed and that she’d just exited the shower and discovered her daughter was “missing”. That, at least, explained the manner of dress. When she turned to leave I was disappointed that the front of the cover-up was halfway down her thighs.

Martha’s appearance couldn’t have been timed better. She was there long enough to let whatever ’shock’ effect what I’d said to Elle simmer down. As Martha walked away Elle turned to me and, shaking her head up and down, agreed that we both needed to communicate better with each other… but with one caveat… that as hard as it may be for me I had to let her know when my plans changed. If I tell her in the morning that I’d be home by 6pm and I’m not going not going to make it… find some way to let her know at least a half hour before that. There was some ‘give and take’ dialog that followed that but she definitely made her point. We hugged and then went out to bring the kids in for the night. One thing I was definitely looking forward to was sleeping in my bed that night.

To be continued…


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