MAKING PROGRESS… of sorts (Part 172cc)
Elle and I’d been letting
the kids stay up later now that school was out and the days were
longer. Since they didn’t have to get up bright and early in the morning
Elle would let them sleep in. However, 9:30pm was when it was time to
start getting ready for bed. It was approaching that time when I finally
came in the house. Elle was curled up in her favorite chair… asleep,
and the girls were putting their projects away. I had to smile at that
because they were doing it without being reminded. In my mind it called
for a ‘reward’, but not at that time. Elle woke up in time to kiss the
girls good night and then headed for bed. Having been on my feet and
crouched over the sign for almost four hours straight I headed for my
reclining chair… which was a mistake. I woke up with all the lights on
at around 1am. I made it in to bed without waking Elle but found myself
rolling and tossing as I thought about the sign. I hated deadlines with
signs so when I saw it getting light out I rolled out of bed. I had put
all my paints and thinners together the night before and was set to
start as soon as there was sunlight. I grabbed an English muffin and
some juice while waiting but when the sun started streaming through the
kitchen window I was out the door.
I glanced at my watch around 9am
and thought I’d take break to see what everybody was doing. The older
girls were up, dressed and eating their breakfast when I walked in. I
asked about their mother and was told she was still in bed. I figured
that with the tiredness she’d been experiencing that it was probably
just as well. When I headed back outside I asked them to let me know
when she came downstairs. I honestly don’t know how long it was before
Jean (the oldest) came running out saying I had to go upstairs, ”… right
away!” As we made our way up the walk to the house I asked if anything
was wrong. “Mommy’s bleeding… a lot!” Up the stairs I went, two at a
time. The other two girls were outside the closed bathroom door and I
told them to go into their rooms as I opened the door. Elle was sitting
on the toilet with her “package”, almost completely blood soaked, down
around her ankles. Her face was as white as I’d ever seen a person be. I
was trying not to panic and, at the same time act as calmly as I could
be when addressing her. The toilet was nestled between the sink and the
outside wall with the window right there. She was holding onto the
window sill with her right hand and the edge of the sink with the other.
I asked her what had happened and she just looked down at the soggy
package at her ankles. “I think I lost the baby…” was what I heard in a
faint whisper. I probably asked the most asinine question I could when I
asked if she was OK. She told me to go call the doctor and said she'd be
OK and wouldn’t fall. It was as I went down the hall to our room to get
to the phone that what she’d told me finally registered… that she’d
lost the baby.
Of course, the doctor told me to get her to the
hospital ASAP. I was going to call her mother to come watch the kids but
quickly abandoned that thought. She’d want to go to the hospital with
Elle and I still wouldn’t have anyone to watch the kids. Jean, who had
seen Elle and the bloody mess, came up and asked if her mommy was going
to die. I assured that she wasn’t but I was going to take her to the
hospital, just to be sure. The only ambulance in the whole township was
some 12 miles away and then they had to find a driver for it. (I told
you we were rural!) I was sure I could get her there quicker. With Jean right by my side I told her to run next door and ask if one of the ladies could
come right over as there was an emergency. I also told her not to
mention the blood.
Back in the bathroom I attempted to clean Elle
up a bit wiping down her legs. She was still bleeding but it was more
like a regular period than hemorrhaging. I took two hand towels to make
up a diaper like thing to put between her legs. How to hold it up was a
bit of a problem… until Mattie and Martha both appeared. They were both
shocked to see her and immediately Mattie offered to look after the
kids while I took Elle to the hospital. Martha saw the problem I was
having with keeping the towels in place and suggested a pair of shorts.
She stayed with Elle while I went to get a pair and when I returned she
offered to ride with us on the trip to the hospital. Elle was so weak
she could hardly stand which created a bit of a problem getting her down
the stairs. Between the three of us we got her successfully into the
back seat of the station wagon and, with Martha sitting beside her, we
were on our way. While we were getting her seated Mattie ran back to her
house to fetch her two kids as well as Martha’s daughter.
The
trip to the hospital went without incident. Martha had to really work on
keeping Elle awake. There was no one in the emergency room so she was
attended to immediately. Her doctor arrived within minutes of our
arrival… and then it was the inevitable waiting. The not knowing how she
was made the minutes seem like hours. Martha and I made small talk to
kind of move the minutes along. I’m not sure how long it was before the
doctor came out but the news she had was good. Elle had lost a lot of
blood and they’d given her two transfusions. She was to be admitted
after she was stabilized and when I asked for how long she said it would
be up to how quickly Elle responded. I had to ‘push’ to get her to even
give a guess. She finally said it would be at least Saturday but it
could be more. I thanked her but before she left she asked to speak to
me in the hall.
I remember these few minutes vividly as she told
me that the miscarriage was probably a very good thing. She couldn’t be
sure but the indications were that if the pregnancy had continued much
longer it might’ve been a major problem for Elle. As it stood, once Elle
got her strength back they would do a simple procedure and she’d be
“back to normal”. I don’t know exactly why but I wanted to ask if that
meant her severe incontinence would go away… but didn’t. I thanked her
again for responding so quickly and she told me she’d be back to check
on her in the afternoon.
Back in the waiting room I told Martha
to take my station wagon and go back home and that I’d call my father
when Elle was moved to a room and after I could talk with her. I wanted
to know her state of mind. The pregnancy had been a surprise to both of
us and, after a period of adjustment, had started planning for the
future. In reading my DayTimer for that day there was one thing that
jumped out at me… I’d written that I was relieved. Even though I wrote
it I had always planned on welcoming the baby into our family even
though it was going to create some problems for us. We’d avoided really
getting into the details but knew we’d have to face up to it. Now, I had
to make sure Elle wasn’t going to be depressed about the loss of the
baby.
To be continued…
2 comments:
As a long time reader, I wondered when this was coming. The lose of a child is always tough for everyone. I think much tougher for women to get over as I am sure there is a sense of not doing something right that would cause this. This was probably a rocky time for the both of you. Feelings of guilt for men when you don't want anymore kids seem to be quite common Good luck, even though it was long ago, memories last forever.
OB... thanks for posting your observation... right on, as usual...
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