THE END OF A DREAM... sad but true (Part 59b)

My first stop was at the Commission office where I was greeted (?) by the lady with the personality of a rock. I asked if there was anybody there who could meet with me to explain why I was suspended. As soon as I asked she got up and walked out of the office without saying a word. To put it mildly, I was pissed! I went over to the door to the inner office and turned the knob and found it was open. I peeked in and saw a man sitting there reading a newspaper. There was a name plate on the desk and I recognized it as one of the race Judges. He gave me a ”look“ as if to say, without words, ”What the **** do you want?“ Having his attention I walked up to the desk and identified myself and told him I was one of the people on the now infamous ”list“ and wanted to know exactly why. I was not discourteous nor did I raise my voice. He stood up and staring at me face to face told me to get out of his office. I stood there for I don’t know how long. He started to move around the end of the desk towards me and that’s when I took my cue and backed out of the door. I couldn’t believe what had just happened.

Before leaving the track I stopped to see Norm at the barn gate, hoping that he’d have some ”inside information“. He was glad to see me but really didn’t have anything but more rumors. I asked if he knew how my horses were doing but he said he didn’t have that kind of information. As I drove back home I formulated a plan to try and come back on Saturday and meet with Mr S to see if there was anything he could do to help me. It was all I had to go on.

My grandfather, satisfied that everything possible was being done to help my grandmother, had made a call to another harness horse owner from town to see if he could get some clarification of my situation. A few years earlier he had owned one of the premier trotting mares in the country and had achieved some notoriety from it. He had ”connections“ and my grandfather hoped that he could at least get an official explanation to help me out. When I arrived back at the hospital he had just called back but my grandfather really didn’t grasp all that he was being told. All it did for me was to make me more anxious. I immediately called the man back and what he told me was VERY interesting.

Supposedly, a trainer/driver who was also working for Antney’s primary owner had been fired by the owner. I knew of him by reputation only as a loudmouth and a drunk. Right after he got fired he went to a bar where, after the races, some of the racetrack judges frequented. Drunk, he claimed he got fired because the owner wanted him to ”not try to win“ so that the odds would go up and then would pay off at a high price when they did. He said he wouldn’t do it and got fired because he disobeyed the owner’s orders. What was worse was that he claimed that the owner had the same ”orders“ out to his other trainer/driver, Antney, and that’s what caused the suspensions.

I heard what he told me but had a hard time digesting it. (This was the capsule version) I thanked him and then started thinking about the situation with Antney. I had no idea how many races he’d won since I’d arrived but I knew that the odds on those horses were not all that long. It just didn’t add up. I remember being mad at how the whole thing had come down... and still wondered how I’d become implicated in it.

It was right about that time when my brother arrived. He’d been doing his Summer training for his ROTC unit and it’d taken a few days to secure his release from it and get transportation home. For me it meant that someone else could stand that night’s vigil and I’d be able to spend time with Elle and the kids (and, oh yeah, the inlaws). With my mind still wrestling with that last information I’d been given I was not good company. My mother in law was pressing me for what I was going to do as she kept reminding me I had a wife and two children to support. I wasn’t in the mood for ”what ifs“. I wanted to know about the present and didn’t know how to get the answer. Because my father in law had to leave so early for his work he and Elle’s mother, thankfully, went to bed around 9pm. I decided that I’d also go to bed early hoping that I’d get some decent sleep. It wasn’t to be. I was wide awake for most of the night. I remember being hung up on the American concept of innocent until proven guilty. I felt that I (and Antney, his brother and the owner) had already been tried and pronounced guilty by the newspapers. I remember thinking that even if we were all told that we were innocent of any wrongdoing the betting public would always remember what they had read. An article in one of the evening newspapers (yes, they still had them back in those days) carried a ”blurb“ that had obviously been planted by the Commission office. It stated that this ”probe“ would guarantee that all harness racing done within the State was on ”the up and up“. I immediately thought about the gas station owner where my little trailer was "stored". I hadn't seen him since the story first hit the newspapers but I knew he was in his glory among his friends. He was one who was totally convinced that they were "fixed".

When I heard my father in law pulling out of the driveway I got up deciding to take a walk on the beach. It was just getting light and I’d always wanted to watch a sunrise from that location. I walked as far to the East as I could. It was a place that Elle and I had been many, many times before but it was the first time for me, alone. I sat on the last jetty and watched it get lighter and lighter. Finally, I saw the first glimpse of the sun. It was a still morning with not even a ripple on the water. As the sun rose higher and higher its image was duplicated in the water. I don’t know how long I was there but when I started back I began a self analysis of my career. By the time I was in front of my parents house I had pretty much decided that maybe harness racing wasn’t really for me. I’d used the excuse that the majority of the horses that I’d driven were ”misfits“ in one way or another to explain the lack of positive results. I did feel that I had a good head for the training aspect of the business but all the focus at that time was on driving (and winning) races. At that period in time, I would have guessed it was probably 85 to 90 percent of the trainers drove there own horses. By the time I got back to Elle’s house I had pretty much made up my mind that even if I were ”cleared“ and got my license back I was done with the horses.

Elle was up and was feeding the baby out in the back yard. I sat down next to them and told her my thoughts. I don’t know if I was hoping she’d try to persuade me not to quit but she didn’t. She just sat there and listened to me go over all the points I’d made to myself on my walk back. Hearing the words actually reinforced my decision. I remember the trip to the hospital and actually being excited about the decision. The first person I told was my father. He wanted to hear all the reasons and when I was done the only thing he stressed was that I still needed to get my name cleared by the Commission. He also told me to wait to tell my grandfather until that time as he was sure it would be a disappointment to him. I agreed and almost immediately felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from me. I had no job or job prospects but I did have my college degree and I was ready to start looking!

To be continued...