FATHERHOOD... Learning to cope (Part 51a)

Truthfully, I have no memory of driving from the track to the hospital. Once there I got a big shock. I had expected to get to see Elle right away and wasn’t prepared to wait. But, at that period in time some hospitals had very strict rules on visiting hours with no exceptions for new fathers. I was told I had to wait until 2pm. There was nothing I could do to change it.

I would guess that I had to wait over an hour. It was during this time that some sort of reality about what the birth of the baby, at that time, meant. It almost overwhelmed me. I suddenly realized that I would have to get the trailer moved to the track a whole week earlier than planned. I’d pretty much taken the delivery date as a given (I had a LOT to learn!) and had Harry all set to move it to the track on the Monday after the upcoming one. Elle had told me that it had to be in place when she was released from the hospital and that day had been the due date. Moving it while she was in the hospital was a must. In a panic I called Harry but got (thankfully) his wife. She was really excited and happy for Elle and I and after she calmed me down told me that she’d “work on Harry” and not to go on worrying. After hanging up I started thinking of all the things that moving the trailer would entail. I remember writing things on the back page of a magazine in the waiting room and as I watched the list get longer and longer was when I started to feel overwhelmed.

I never gave a thought to calling our parents or to my grandparents. I just kept adding things to the list. Finally, visiting hours began and Elle was asleep when I walked in. I found a nurse to show me where the nursery was and when I got there I couldn’t really see much. The sides of the bins the babies were in were too high to see inside them. I waited until I saw a nurse in the back of the room and when I got her attention got her to hold the baby up for me to see. I’d not really paid much, if any, attention to babies, especially newborns, up to that time. All I saw was a chubby cheeked, red faced baby with a shock of dark hair. The nurse held up one of her arms that had a bracelet that identified it as ours. As excited as I should’ve been at that moment I’m ashamed to say I really don’t remember any of my inner feelings.

I had to leave at 4pm and it was just about that time when Elle woke up and this part I do remember. The first words out of her mouth were to tell me that she had missed her last final exam because of the birth and she was scared that she wouldn’t graduate. To me that was just another thing to add to my “list“ of things that had to be addressed... and soon. I won’t go so far as to say Elle was in a panic but it wasn’t far from it. I didn’t have any idea where to start on my list so when I left I headed for the Administration building. Thankfully, it was still open. I explained the situation about the baby and Elle’s concern about her status. Even though the lady at the desk couldn’t tell me exactly what would happen, after checking Elle’s records she did assure me that there was no doubt that she would graduate. That was all I needed to hear.

I did call home and talked with Elle’s and my mother as well as my grandfather. Of all of them it was my grandfather that sounded the most excited. The baby meant that he and my grandmother were now great grandparents. Elle’s mother was ready to get on a train and to come right up. I had a hard time explaining that until I got the trailer moved there was no place for any of us to stay. On top of everything else I didn't need her under my feet until the trailer was situated. My mother was sort of ”ho-hum“ although she was concerned about how Elle had come through the birthing process.

By the time I got to see Elle that night I had ”the wheels in motion“ for some of the items on my list. As soon as I told Elle about what the lady at the Ad building said I could see her relax. It was just about that time that a nurse brought the baby in for Elle to feed her. Even though I was the husband I was asked to leave while she did and I did as I was told. All in all, I actually got to talk with Elle less than an hour that day. I’m sure that I never even got to tell her that I was going to be in my first race the following Tuesday.

I was also able to talk with Harry and he said that, one way or another, he’d get the trailer to the track by the time Elle was released from the hospital. One thing that Harry wanted me to do was to get the trailer ready to be moved. That meant removing the cement blocks that were used to make it level and stable. I’d done it any number of times while working for him so, other than my time, it wasn’t a problem. I also had to pack up everything in the cabinets and refrigerator. I didn’t go to work on Saturday, using most of the time to address the items on my ”list“. One of them was to get my deposit back from the trailer park owner. That gave me some much needed cash.

Late Saturday morning I was surprised to have Harry’s wife, Vi and her sister show up. They told me they had come down to help me pack everything up for the move. But it didn’t take long to find out that what they really wanted was to see Elle and especially, the baby. Vi had brought boxes and knew exactly how to pack things. I watched closely as I knew that I’d have to do it again at the end of the Summer. The ladies took me out for lunch and then we went to the hospital. Only two people at a time were allowed in the room and when we got there the lobby had at least six of Elle’s sorority sisters there. I ended up getting to see her for about 10 minutes just before visiting hours were up. That night it was more of the same but this time I was there first and wouldn’t give up my space making the girls come up one at a time. Elle was exhausted by the time we all left and I had a good idea why they had limited visiting hours.

On Sunday it was projected that Elle would be released around mid day on Tuesday. I couldn’t believe it. The timing couldn’t have been worse. Not that it was important to me (or Elle) at that time but Tuesday was the day for both our graduation ceremonies... and also my first race. At the time I found out about Elle’s release date Harry hadn’t told me when he was going to move the trailer. All of these things just seemed to be piling up on me. I’d thought that once I got word that I’d graduated all the pressure would be off. WRONG!

To be continued...