Wednesday, August 12, 2009

MORE SUMMER... Ups and downs (Part 46j)

It had only been a little over month since the last “crisis” so it wasn’t hard to dredge up most of the thoughts I’d had about what to do if she really was pregnant. I remember quickly going over them and having this feeling that there really wasn’t any need to panic. In fact, I felt pretty confident that if it was true that I had control of the situation. But I quickly remembered that it was Elle who was probably in a panic. Knowing her as well as I did I also knew that trying to discuss the situation over the phone was not an option. There were always girls hovering around the phone waiting their turn. I knew I should drive back to see and talk to her in person. The problem was that AJ was flying down to Lexington with the new owner to look at some horses the next morning and I was somewhat “in charge”. I was to do the training and he’d arranged for one of his friends to drive the horses in races. And, I had to make sure they were ready each night. There really was no way to take a night off.

On top of that I had finally arranged to meet with the head of the Education department to discuss my ideas concerning the lack of educational options for kids like Joanne who couldn’t keep up academically. I was really excited to have the opportunity and I certainly didn’t want to go into the meeting ill prepared. I’d written a bunch of thoughts down, over time, and was trying to put them in logical order. My free time was pretty much non existent. I ended up pushing the situation with Elle into the background.

When I walked into Dr F’s office the look he gave me was not one to give me a lot of confidence. It was one that indicated I was taking up his valuable time. He wore half glasses and as he peered over the top of them to look at me I really wasn’t sure I wanted to be there. I explained to him that Pete, the guy who did the PR at the race track and also worked for the school administration, had suggested that I explain my ideas in person rather than to write them down. He indicated for me to start talking but he continued to flip through the papers that were on his desk. I don’t know at what point that I got his whole attention but when I did he took the glasses off and started a dialog. Long story short; he had been working on a presentation to the State Education department that covered some of the points that I had just made to him but I’d added a couple that he liked. When I left the office I felt really good. It was obvious that he was held in high esteem by the State Education department and that there was a distinct possibility that some sort of grant for an experimental program might be forthcoming after the first of the year. I was so excited that I wanted to go see the T’s and tell them but I had a horse in the first race so had to postpone that to another day.

When AJ got back he was all excited. The new owner had committed to buying four horses and maybe more. That was the good news. The bad news was that he was going to stop racing a few of the horses which meant I really wouldn’t be needed. He wanted to keep the grooms he had on the payroll for later when the new horses were purchased. Hearing that, my first thought was of the loss of money. I rationalized it by telling myself I’d only lose three weeks of pay. But any weeks without pay would be devastating, especially if Elle really was pregnant.

The “ups and downs” of that week was almost like being on a roller coaster, something I never really took to. I was really looking forward to getting over to see Elle and find out if my thoughts were correct concerning her being pregnant. It was hard to sleep, for sure. As the week ended AJ did tell me that he hoped that I’d still come over on race nights to help him. He’d pay me $5 for each horse I’d warm up for him. I did a quick calculation and figured I’d still make around $50 a week. I was pretty sure it was more than I could make working at the co-op at school. The horses he'd selected were turned out to pasture that Saturday which meant that there was no reason to continue to live at the track. I stuffed my track clothes into my suitcase Sunday morning and headed off to see Elle.

As soon as I saw Elle I knew that whatever the problem was that it was affecting her mightily. She looked very tired and although, initially, she said that it was that she’d been studying really hard I knew it was more than that. We headed off to Dee’s special place. I was rather cruel in that I didn’t waste any time in asking if she thought she was pregnant. That started the tears... which flowed, on and off, the rest of the afternoon. She spent more time in my arms, sobbing, than doing anything else. She actually fell asleep at one point and, in so doing, ended up wetting herself. I knew it was happening but knew that by waking her up that the damage had already been done. For my part, I kept trying to assure her that I’d find a way to make it work. The things that were most important to her were that we get married in a church and that she finish college. I assured her that it would be a priority and that we’d both finish school.

To be continued...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Roller coaster described it perfectly, I can only imagine.

-Badside