THE HOME LIFE... & other stuff (Part 101b)

At noon on the day before Thanksgiving John, the president, made an announcement that once the tellers were in proof (all debits equaled all credits) after 3pm that we were free to go home. I don’t know if it was just me but it seemed strange that there was no positive reaction to the news. I, for one, was very happy about it. Of course Alvin put in his ”two cents“ by reminding me that I needed to have my current project completed before I left. It was a bit before 3:30pm when I (we) heard Rich call out that the tellers were in proof. I still had some work to do to finish up and by the time I did it was around 4pm. Stasia, as usual, was still at her desk and as I put my coat on I debated with myself as to weather I should offer her a ride home. I was tired of my efforts at being friendly being rebuffed but caved in and walked up and made the offer. I got a quick glance of a smile when she looked up. By the time she accepted her look was back to her usual semi blank stare.

Once in the car I decided to take a calculated risk. After starting the engine I turned and looked right at her and said that we weren’t going to move until she told me why she had such a ”wall“ around her. That got her attention as she looked right at me. Her look was more of fear than surprise. Point blank, I told her I was tired of trying to be nice to her and getting nothing in return. I asked her what it was that I’d done to deserve that kind of treatment. There was more but I don’t remember exactly what I said. She continued to look right at me and as she did I could see tears welling up in her eyes. The first time she looked away was to fetch a handkerchief. When she did I finally shut up.

I won’t bore you with all the things that were covered but will try to capsulize the important things. Between the tears and sobs she basically went over most of the ”dirt“ that Inez and Alvin had fed me although in this iteration I was getting it right from the source without the editorial. Her grandparents had arrived in the USA from Poland in the early 1900’s and started farming. I gathered that her grandfather was successful because she quickly got to her father and mother and how they ended up running one of his farms. Because so many of the townspeople were descendants of the first settlers the family was looked down upon because they were both new and foreign. In talking about this I could see that the subject was a little ”raw“. Her mother and father tried their best to get accepted and she had been constantly reminded ”to be on her best behavior“. Her family was very religious (Catholic) and very strict. She was limited in her activities at school and wasn’t allowed to have a boy friend or go on dates. About the only outside activity she had was with the church. Unfortunately, it was at a church activity and with the son of another church based family that she got pregnant. The news devastated her mother and father. She said her mother beat her severely. She was 16 at the time and neither family considered marriage. To negate the negative aspect of the pregnancy to the townspeople her grandfather told her family to send her to live with her aunt (her father’s sister) and uncle who ran another one of his farms. It was located about ten miles East of where she lived. She did and actually had her baby (a boy) in their house and not a hospital. After that she continued to live there, took care of the baby, did the housework and some of the cooking. I remember thinking at the time that, in essence, she was a prisoner. During this whole time she said her parents pretty much ignored her. Her grandfather sort of came to her rescue about five years ago and got her the job at the bank. However, she had to give all her pay to her aunt for ”room and board“ and her aunt gave her a small allowance to cover her bus fare and necessary supplies.

I sat there, the motor continuing to run and the windows starting to steam up, in amazement. I made a half hearted attempt to ask why she stayed now that she was an adult but was rebuffed. The part about giving her pay over to her aunt struck a nerve with me and even though I tried to ”push“ her on why, was again stonewalled. I don’t know why I asked about her clothes but I did. You can imagine my reaction when she laughed. In spite of all that she had to endure the one thing that really upset her was that she was pretty much limited to her aunt’s clothes. Seeing her with a wisp of a smile made me smile as well.

There was more but when I saw that it was getting dark I put the car in gear and we were off. As we approached her driveway I asked why she didn’t want me to drive in and let her off at the door. By then she was back to just staring straight ahead. I stopped across from it on the other side of the road and basically pleaded with her to give me the reason. As she turned to look at me her facial expression was one of resignation. I won’t say she was mad but it was close to it. It was the most emotion (other than crying) that she’d expressed when she almost spit out that she’d been told by her aunt and uncle not to trust anybody at the bank. Basically, she was told to go there and do what she was told to do and then come home. No friends! After telling me that she opened the door and got out. I stayed there as I watched her walk down the driveway. In looking back on (as I’ve done many times through the years) I felt somewhat helpless. If a person fell I could go help pick them up. If someone needed a loan of a few dollars I could do it. But, in her case I couldn’t think of anything I could do. That thought made for a long trip home.

To be continued...