SUMMER HEAT... so much going on (Part 161l)

SUMMER HEAT… so much going on (Part 161l)

Once in the car I jokingly asked if the cat had her tongue. Barbara didn’t know what that meant so, in a way, it was an ‘icebreaker’ to get her to at least smile a bit. She did but didn’t comment. Since it only took a little over five minutes to get to town there really wasn’t much of a chance to talk. I told her I’d wait for her over in the church parking lot when she exited the car. Not really into the minister’s sermon I spent my time trying to come up with something meaningful to say to her. I thought back to the talk I’d had with her right after she came to stay with us back in the Fall. At that time she was embarrassed because she hadn’t expected me to drive her to work. She knew that I knew she was a bedwetter but she’d never been alone with me after that became known. When I'd picked her up after her work I sort of beat around the bush but finally was finally able to make her realize that just because she wet the bed that it didn’t define her. I used Elle’s incontinence (and I hadn’t originally intended to) as an example. I asked Barbara to describe what she thought would be a good description of Elle. I remember her using “mother, teacher, pretty lady” and a few other words. I'd stopped her at that point and interjected that she didn’t use the descriptive term “incontinent” and yet she was. I’d asked her just how many people knew of her bedwetting and I think she said “three or four”. Then I asked if they ever mentioned it and she had nodded that they didn’t. I remember telling her that my personal description of her was that she was a bright, cheerful young lady and someone I’d be proud to call my daughter… and there was nothing about bedwetting in my thoughts. I remember her relaxing at that point and the rest of her time with us went well. So… based on that I wanted to say something to defuse her earlier embarrassment.

When she climbed in the car I didn’t start the motor and I remember her looking at me with a quizzical look. I started by referencing the talk I’d just described and asked if she remembered it. Still with the puzzled look she nodded that she did. I went right to the heart of the matter and asked if her unhappiness was because she realized I’d seen her wet things on the floor of the bathroom. She didn’t answer and just looked straight out the windshield. I prodded her a bit and she finally nodded affirmatively. Then I told her to look at me. She was frowning when she turned my way. Trying not to have a harsh look on my face I asked if she really thought it made any difference to me that I’d seen it. I told her I knew it was certainly possible so other than the fact that she should’ve picked it up there was no harm and that it didn’t change anything about the way I thought of her. Then I asked if she was OK. She gave me a weak smile as her answer. Then I started the car.

Just as I had done the last time we were in this same situation I decided to ‘push’ her a little bit. I casually asked if her sister or her brothers ever teased her about her condition. (I think I did use that description) She was almost laughing when she said “NO!” And that her mother would kill them if they did. Hearing that I think I did laugh. We rode a bit before I got serious. I think we were crossing the railroad tracks when I asked her to tell me some of her embarrassments. She didn’t really want to tell me but I quickly explained that I wanted to show her how fleeting they were and only on a rare occasion would the embarrassment last. She wasn’t sure she wanted to but I ‘pushed’ her a little. She relented just as we made the turn into the driveway and I hoped that she'd get it out before the kids spied the car in the driveway and came rushing out to see her.

Paraphrasing, it was the year before they all moved. She was a cheerleader and, just like at our school, the cheerleaders did not go to ‘away’ games except for the season ending playoffs. Her school qualified and the games were to be played at a place near the city (Philadelphia). All four schools who'd qualified were there and they all had a lot of fans. During the game her school was participating in a fight broke out in the bleachers right behind where they were located. The cheerleaders rode on the bus with the players and the coaches hearded them all back out to the bus. She said it was a frightening experience and she said she remembered seeing the policemen all around the bus. She said she'd grabbed another cheerleader’s hand and they wouldn’t let go of each other even when they were in the bus. But, once in the bus she realized she’d started to wet herself. I was looking at her at that point and could see the curl of a smile. I had to ask what was so funny. She hesitated and I thought that she wasn’t going to finish… but she went on. She said she was sitting on the edge of the bus seat for a minute with the girl sitting beside her when the girl saw a puddle on the floor. She said something about it not realizing that it was from Barbara. When she did she jumped up and away from her. At this point in telling the story Barbara was relaxed and thought it was pretty funny but admitted she certainly didn’t think so at the time. I knew we had to get inside so closed the conversation by asking if the girl ever teased her about it. That made Barbara really laugh. I wanted to know why the question was so funny and she just turned her head from side to side. Walking down the path to the patio I pressed her on it and she just wouldn’t go on. At the door I asked if we were “OK” and she gave me one of her best smiles.

At breakfast Elle asked what Barbara had planned for the day. I knew she was ‘fishing’ for her to say she’d watch the kids so Elle wouldn’t have to go to her mother’s with them but she’d made plans to go to a friend’s house. We had to take two vehicles to the sailing club which was a bit of a pain. I went to the club to set the boats up while Elle delivered the kids to her mother. It was good to see all the activity driven by racing. Most of the ‘regulars’ were there plus a few new people. Once the boats were rigged it turned out that there were five women who would be competing. Some of the guys were ‘ragging’ on them about how badly they would get beaten in the races and, even though I felt that way, I kept my mouth shut. We were just about to leave the beach for the starting line when I saw Bobbi come running down to the water. One of the male racers wasn’t feeling all that well so offered his boat to her. I could see it was a last minute decision because Bobbie was wearing white knit shorts. My mind was going wild with the potential of seeing her with the shorts all wet. As I pushed off from shore I couldn’t wait for us to finish up for the day.

To be continued…